Recently, I have not been able to write a blog due to my master’s thesis and moving for a job. I could have written if I had to, but I kept putting it off because I thought I’d write when I was free. So I could not update my blog for a long time.
During such days, I noticed one thing. I get depressed if I don’t write for a long time. Specifically, I feel like my mind is restless because I think about this and that, and I cannot act the way I want to. Perhaps I have unconsciously refreshed my mind by writing a blog and organizing my thoughts until now.
I’m the type of person who can’t take action until thinking about everything (I cannot like this character, but I have to accept because it is my nature). Maybe that’s why, when I let my thoughts go without organizing them, I feel depressed and stop my actions. For example, the more memory a computer consumes, the slower it runs. I think the same phenomenon happen to me.
So, although this expression may be inappropriate, writing is maybe the same thing as excreting for me. Just as the problem of excreting causes constipation, I become depressed unless I write something every day. Because of this, even if it’s just a trivial thing, I think I must express my thoughts in writing. When I have something bothering me, I feel relaxed by writing them down.
There is nothing for me to gain from writing such a worthless blog. I do receive some advertising fees; however, they are tiny. But I become depressed if I do not write. So maybe I need blogging as a part of my life, just like taking a bath, sleeping, and exercising. I have been thinking about that over the past few days.